Oct 29 Update

First my commercial
GO VOTE!!!! PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO GET THAT DONE NEXT WEEK!!

Moving on........
It has been so long since we last posted. We have been so busy getting our lives under control since moving that we quite forgot to keep up with this. I started working at Dell back in August when we first moved but Beth also got a job there working in the Customer Service department. We both have the exact same schedule there so we wake up together, make breakfast together, go to work and spend the entire day together and then come home. It's honestly very nice. I am still working with server tech support and staying very busy with that. I have been traveling back to Seattle once a month for drill with my unit at Ft. Lewis and while it's somewhat tiresome, I still sometimes get to see friends and family when I am back. Beth and I watched a movie last night that was filmed in Seattle and just seeing the ferry boats and skyline made us so homesick we could hardly take it. If we didn't know we had a plan and a purpose here we would have probably packed our bags then and there and come back.
We miss City Church so bad. We miss our family and friends terribly. The heartache and longing to be home is palpable but we can see this is a necessary step to coming back and setting up a family there sometime in the foreseeable future. God willing I am going to be able to go back to school here in January and continue getting my degree. Be praying for Beth because she is very close to making a decision on a major and finishing her school as well. We are volunteering in our church here for right now. Beth is teaching in Sunday school and I am finishing the paperwork to work the check-in table for nursery and classes. I was shocked at how much paperwork and background checking you have to go through now because you are working with children but I understand it's a good thing. Just too bad we have to worry about those things in our church now.
Beth and I both got a year older back in September and for her birthday I surprised her by coming back to Seattle and taking her to see Phantom of the Opera at the Paramount Theatre on the day of her birthday. It's something that I have always wanted to do and finally was able to. I always had planned to take her to the one in New York but this seemed a good chance to before it goes the way of Cats and gets shut down.

Thats the dome in the opera house by the way

Be praying for us because my unit is starting to gear up for a deployment somewhere down the road. For security I cannot say where or when on the internet but its close enough to make us start planning should I eventually have to go. We will see what happens but be praying that God's will is done in this and we would be able to handle whatever comes. I am not that worried about it and simply hope to one day have a stable life and settle down with my wife not wondering if I get to go play in the Sandbox for a few months. I will have Beth post on here in the next few days as well cause she writes better than I and I know some of you are dying to hear how she is doing.

Snow in early October is Awesome!!

Have a great weekend (Yes I know its Wednesday)
and see you later
~Lynn

Well since we have moved to Idaho things have been moving right along. I am NOT going overseas (they finally reversed that paperwork), I have been working at Dell for 3 weeks, Beth is finishing the hiring process at a couple places seeing what she wants to do and we are still unpacking boxes. I hate moving. Just when you think you can't take another box, it pokes out from under the table and glares at you. Maybe by the time we are ready to move back to Seattle we will feel like we are really done.
Beth has heard from her friends in Seattle and if I am not mistaken the number currently stands at 8 that are expecting within the last month or so. We keep looking at each other wondering if we got out of Seattle in time or if it followed us here. We really want a family but not for a while. There must be something in the water because in the past week I think I have heard of 2 or 3 more. Congratulations to those who have a new little loved one coming into their family. We cannot wait to be back in the Puget Sound with our friends and family there.
Last week I had a little excitement. Beth and I went swimming with friends down in the Snake River Canyon and for fun, I and two other friends jumped off a cliff once each. It was a small cliff only 20-25 ft but having never done this before I didn't do it right and ruptured my left eardrum. 3 or 4 hours later the pain in my ear was so intense I went to the ER and they confirmed it was ruptured and gave me hydrocodone for pain and medicated eardrops. I took the pain pills right before going to bed and apparently I am allergic to them. I woke up with a swollen head and sicker than a dog. Not only did I not go to work Thursday, Beth practically scraped me off the floor around 11AM and took me back to ER. I spent the afternoon with an IV in my arm getting re-hydrated and with Benadryl trying to cancel out the reaction. Took a few days to get totally back to normal but as I told Beth, the primary benefit I see from this is I only have to listen to her half the time now. Actually, I would have been in very bad shape if she hadn't taken care of me.

I know I know its been a long time since we have updated but there is good reason for that. 1) We are moving to Idaho in a week and packing for that has been crazy, 2) I have been on active orders for my "Two weeks a year" with my Army National Guard unit, and 3) they have been trying to actually deploy me in the last couple of weeks and we have been praying over that and trying to come to terms with it.
I can't say who or when or what but I was selected to deploy in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in the near future with a unit other than my own. This came as a huge shock because it would be very dangerous and there was little forewarning. My commander in my unit feels concerned that our trials with Aimee would cause me such mental and emotional strain that I would not be able to do my job there correctly. They have been trying to work it out and get me off the list for deployment but there are a huge amount of checks and balances they have to hurdle and I have no direct control over the situation. It is very frustrating as you can imagine watching this process and knowing your life is in some other persons hands. The news and updates we hear from my chain of command are hopeful and we continue to pray this will be reversed. Please pray specifically that my deployment orders are rescinded or reversed. I have no fear in deploying. I signed up for this and will fulfill my duty as a soldier. However, this comes so closely on the heels of our family tragedy (I got the alert call the same week we picked up Aimee's ashes from the funeral home) I am fighting panic and fear at every turn. I fully intend to go with my unit when and if they deploy but I don't think now is the best time.
On a lighter note, I finally got to fly for the first time with my unit last week. For those that don't know, I work in maintenance on Army helicopters and I am absolutely nuts about aircraft and flying. The crew chief gave me a harness and headset so I was jacked in with the pilots as they communicated with air traffic control. The two of us sat on the cargo ramp of the chopper and dangled our legs over the end while we were flying at about 5,000 ft. The pictures I've posted were taken with a camera phone so they are not great but they give you an idea.
Please feel free to email us or call for our new address in Idaho. Would love to stay in touch with you all and hope our move back to Seattle is soon.
-Lynn

My Sweet Little Aimee,
I can't believe it was a year ago today that I held you in my arms for the first time. I can still see you so tiny and fragile with your rosebud lips puckered up and your dark hair framing your perfect little face. After nine months of impatiently waiting for that moment I felt like I couldn't soak you in fast enough. You were absolutely beautiful. Watching your daddy hold you for the first time was one of the sweetest moments I have ever experienced. He changed from a tough army soldier to cuddly protective daddy in a split second. You turned us into a mommy and a daddy. You blessed us everyday with your smiles and little silly faces. I cannot fathom how much God loves us if He can love us more than we love you. Every time anyone got to hold you they always said that they could feel love radiating from you. That was all you knew. Pure and simple love. Aimee, not a day goes by when we don't miss you. Sometimes I still have dreams about you, I usually try to fall asleep again and pick up where they left off just so I can hold you again. Even though I can't come to you I know we will spend forever together. Being on this side of heaven it seems like you are so far away, but to you - I suppose I will see you in the blink of an eye! Happy Birthday little one. Your mommy and daddy love you with all their hearts and can't wait to see you again.

Thoughts from Lynn

I decided to write today because I am in a holding pattern at work and have nothing to do for a while. It's amazing what my wife writes isn't it? How many of you out there have marveled at Beth's ability to express her thoughts and touch a special place in your heart and mind? Sometimes I am so surprised to read her blogs and realize I don't know her as well as I thought. She has so many hidden strengths I just can't fathom it.
I have to tell you though - I miss my daughter so bad. I am getting to the point where I can start looking at her pictures again. For a long time I refused to look at photos because the pain was too near - too close. Once in a while I will unexpectedly run across a picture of her and it's like jumping in a lake of ice water. It's a shock and it takes your breath away for a few seconds. I have a jacket with an inside pocket I don't use very much anymore. The Sunday before she passed away I put one of her little socks that fell off in that pocket not thinking anything about it. After she was gone, a couple weeks went by and I put the jacket back on and discovered that sock. I felt a little piece of me almost die inside but it's like I am carrying her around with me again every time I put my coat on. God knows I would never wish her back here again with everything she went through but I also wish so much I could be with her. As a kid, I heard my great-grandmother talk about heaven and how she was ready to go there. I, in my youth, thought that was crazy. I kept thinking, "There are so many cool things here. Who would want to go to heaven? We have Disneyland, I want to get married, I want to have fun." As time goes on, I realize more and more how much of a fallen world we live in. Romans 8:20-23 expresses it so clearly. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. 23 And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. Vs 22 puts it so strongly, it's like the pains of labor living here sometimes, especially when you experience something like this. We were never meant to live apart from God but we chose that for ourselves. We have Disneyland sure but show of hands on who wants to live there for eternity. I am ready to start doing what God wants of me here but I am looking to the day to be home. I have to run - got a delivery to Tacoma for work.

-Lynn

We are moving right along. Literally!

The news is out. Lynn and I are moving to Idaho for a season. It has been quite a process actually and things are going surprisingly smooth so far. Lynn received a call from his previous employer in Twin Falls and they already have an interview set up tomorrow.
Ok, I gotta get to the cool part of this story. A few months ago Lynn's parents had offered us an opportunity to live in their empty house that needs someone there to take care of it. At the time we didn't feel like it was something that we could see happening. We pretty much closed the chapter on that book and moved on. A few weeks ago I was in my quiet time praying and reading and getting to my favorite time of just being absolutely still and waiting on Him to answer back. (You have no idea how difficult this can be for someone who has ADD!) During this time I kept on getting the word "Go". I was thinking "Hmm, well that's nice God, but 'go' do what? Go get a new job? Go make dinner? Go to the ends of the earth... Go....what?!?!" I even wrote it down then scribbled it out because it just didn't make any sense to me. I didn't think about it much if at all since it happened.
While we were on vacation they offered us the house again and we prayerfully considered it, but still had plenty of reasons either way. Lynn and I had to make a decision soon- we could not afford to just sit on the fence about it and we wanted to make sure that we were doing the right thing. We have been asking for wisdom like it says to in James "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
It was Friday morning and while I was getting ready for work it hit me like lightening. He already answered. I was in the middle of brushing my teeth and trying to explain this to Lynn at the same time. I was talking/gargling at a hundred miles a minute, foam everywhere... I think he thought I was mad! I knew deep down inside that this was the answer we had been praying and fasting for. "Go!" I was so shocked because I have tons of reasons why I wanted to stay in Seattle. I have an amazing church that I am part of. I have friends and family that have been there for us and walked with us through our hardest days, I love the green grass- and hate the sagebrush. I even called Deanna and asked her if God answers prayer like this! But when you get a word from God that sorta changes your perspective on it all. Lynn and I are completely in agreement about this decision and we are super excited to see what God has in store for us. With a word from Him it puts my heart at peace. I know He has gone before us. I know He has amazing plans for us.

(I was writing this late last night and was not able to finish, but as of this morning Lynn has a job waiting for him in Idaho! Nice job honey! )
We are going to be leaving the last few days in July. I hope we get to see all of you before then!

Miracles in the Making

Contrary to popular belief we have not abandoned our blog! I know it has been a while since I have shed any light on what Lynn and I are up to, but I promise I won't quit any time soon. To be as truthful as possible it has been more difficult to keep on going with the daily tasks these past few weeks than it has ever been since she went to be with Jesus. Lynn and I are trying to find our rhythm as a couple instead of parents (of course we will always be a mommy and a daddy at heart) and that has held more challenges than we expected.
Just to catch you up, Lynn's unit is being trained for infantry in Iraq. One of the infantry units is at full strength, but if there is any reason why some of the soldiers are unable to complete their training they would pull soldiers out of Lynn's aviation unit. I will be the first to admit there was that old familiar pang of raw panic when I heard about the call to duty. But this time Lynn and I immediately knew that every time we felt panic trying to creep back into our thoughts we just prayed together and attacked that little stinkin' pain in the tush... There have been so many miracles that God has worked out on our behalf because we were obedient to follow His call to the army. To begin with, Lynn was originally going to be working on the Black Hawk Helicopters for the Washington National Guard, but at the last moment Washington State changed their fiscal year and he changed his training field to the Chinooks instead. We found out that if he would have gone with the Black Hawks he would have been getting home about now from Iraq.
Another amazing miracle is that the army's health insurance covered Aimee's half- million dollar hospital bill. Can you imagine what kind of stress and pressure would be looming over us if we had that kind of debt to pay off? I remember when I was driving to work one morning and I was praying (I suppose it was closer to begging) that God would keep Lynn safe at home on US soil so he could be there as the daddy that Aimee needed and the husband that I needed too. I must have prayed for hours for Lynn's safety and I was so afraid that God didn't hear me, but I remember going to church and Pastor Gini was leading us in prayer and she said "God wants you to know He has heard your prayers and He is faithful!" It may have been a word for others as well, however I knew that the words she spoke were meant for me to hear that day.
My immediate family has been faced with health issues that seemed as if they came from nowhere and at the same time. I honestly couldn't believe it when I got the news. I kept thinking 'what next God? What else could possibly happen to me?' (nice attitude huh?) But then in His gentle, but very firm way (ya know what I mean- it is kinda like the last warning you get before you get disciplined by mom's wooden spoon) He brought Aimee's miracles back to my mind. A few weeks after Aimee was born we asked Pastor Judah to lay hands on her and pray for her healing. The encephalocele that was growing at the nape of her neck was a splotchy purple color and it was getting larger every week. When we were praying Lynn saw it shrink and the weird splotchy color was completely gone. Lynn told me that he couldn't even believe his eyes as he watched the purple color fade into a normal flesh tone in his hands. We even have before and after pictures. Of course it still got larger as she grew, but every single one of her doctors was absolutely amazed. They had never seen an encephalocele that was as large, but with no skin break down. Even up to the day it was repaired there was never any problem with the skin it was tough, thick and protected her from getting any infections. When I fix my mind on the amazing healing God that He is and the proof that He gave us , how can I have that kind of attitude? I can't! I just gotta keep praying and standing in faith with my family.
Sometimes when I am going through the hardest days and darkest nights it is hard for me to remember that I am a child of the miracle working God and HE LOVES ME!! But when I look at the things He has done, the separation He delivered us from, the healing and protection for my baby girl, the provision he already had planned before we needed it, and the free car that I prayed for and was given, how can I despair? When I first started blogging I honestly was a little down. There have been so many difficult things that have come up since we said goodbye to our precious little baby. I feel like I have been in sort of a numb fog for a while. Just reading about His miracles and his obvious love for us feels soooo good! I suppose I am learning that even when your hardest days get harder He still is. It is such a comfort to know that He is and always will be- no matter what you are going through.
On a side note I really want to thank all of those who have taken the time to help council and encourage us. I wish I could put into words how much I am blessed by your words of affirmation and motivation and even caution. We feel that you have helped spur us on into a richer and deeper love with our Savior as we seek His direction for us. Lynn and I have some pretty big decisions that are coming up and what we choose will definitely change the path for the rest of our lives. It really has been an honor to us that so many of you have been so involved in our lives and want to keep up on our progress. Thank you! We love you.