Hey friends! I have my little bundle of joy on my lap cooing away as I am finally updating our blog. Aimee has come a long way so far. Right now she is still fighting a cold and an occasional low fever, but she is still her same sweet self. We have a wonderful hospice nurse that has seen Aimee from almost the first week. When she came over for a visit on Thursday she was teasing us that we got all worried about Aimee's cold and cough but when in came to hydrocephalus, it was just a walk in the park for us. It is amazing ever since the surgery Aimee has been so much more talkative. She still does not cry, but she sure can make noise now. Before she would only grunt and grimace to communicate, but now she is babbling and cooing like I have never heard before.
I remember listening to one of our pastors here at City Church and she was talking about what God has started He will finish. I remember thinking well OK that is great, but what am I gong to do about this little baby inside me that won't live past her birth. I have had to let go of Aimee so many times during this season of life that we are in. I can't tell you how hard it is for a control freak like me to step back form the situation and let God be in the driver's seat. So many times I can see myself saying "God , are you really sure you want me to go through this?" "Are you sure this was supposed to happen?" Every time I took control again I would wallow in despair and self pity I would cry and have an attitude, but it was my fault. When He is in control every thing works, miracles happen, we have true joy in our hearts and it doesn't matter what we are facing. I still struggle with control... (just ask my forgiving hubby) Even during her surgery I was questioning myself. I keep thinking I was a monster for making her go through such an invasive procedure, but as one of my closest friends reminded me, she is not mine. Aimee's life is not in my hands I don't control the every breath that she takes. We do protect her and provide for her, but it is because we love God, He gave her to us to love. Amen He has a plan to finish what He started and I am just enjoying it all! Praise God! Love you all ! -Beth